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April 15, 2005
Raising Boys
A friend of mine down here just sent me this. I must share these, they are FUNNY!
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin ,
Texas ...
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000
sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over
them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than
200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor
is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman
underwear and a Superman cape. It ! is strong enough, however, if tied to
a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan
is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball
up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a
long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh",
it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of
it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock
even though
a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract
of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the
same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming! pool
you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB &J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on;
plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a
5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox
and brake fluid.
25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their
friends, with or without kids.
Now, get back to work.
Posted by james at April 15, 2005 10:53 AM
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Comments
My favorites are #9, 20 & 24.
Posted by: GumboFilé at April 15, 2005 01:21 PM
Even before I read #25, I knew I was going to be sending this list to everyone I know. Hilarious!
Posted by: emilyhilleke at April 16, 2005 02:25 PM
I must say, I've resisted trying the brake fluid and clorox though...it seems like a more appropriate activity with company, beer, and cigars...
Posted by: SonofThunder at April 16, 2005 10:00 PM
Sounds like this lady need to go on that show "Super Nanny."
Posted by: Christin at April 18, 2005 01:04 PM